One and Done, This Isn’t Augmentation!!! (Post 36)

A few weeks ago I went to see my plastics guy for a post op.  He started our visit by asking me to tell him what is wrong that brought me in today.  

I thought I was there to do a follow-up.  He thought I was there because I wasn’t happy.  If I am being completely honest, I wasn't happy.  I felt like my implants were more visible than my scars.  My clevage which used to be smooth contours that outlined my breast was now rippled.  People couldn't really see it and my husband said it looked fine, but I could see it.  It really bothered me.  I didn't go there to that appointment to complain about the absence of contour or about my wandering left nipple.  I was happy to feel that weight off my shoulders, the one they call BRCA2.  

My doctor is amazing and when you need a guy to build you breast from the flaps of skin BRCA2 leaves you with you have to like your plastics guy.  He could tell something was wrong.  He could tell I was bothered.  He asked me to tell him again and I simply told him that I didn't know where the line was between ungrateful and cancer free.

This is when he stopped looking and my reconstruction and looked at my eyes.  He simply said to me, "Ypu have been through a lot you have every right to want to look whole again. 

In hat moment I wanted to cry because for the first time since my reconstruction in February I felt like it was ok for me to have real feelings about my breasts.  I was so focussed on the process and getting the BRCA2 mutation out that I prevented myself from actually feeling.  

That visit I learned that reconstruction is not like augmentation.  Reconstruction is a process where you get to put your boobs back together one moment at a time until you feel whole again. 

The left nipple, well it can also be fixed but, the risk of losing it is great.  I decided to leave the nipple to it's wandering ways and focus on the ripples.  It turns out that fat takes the ripples away.  Fat can be taken from anywhere on your body and injected there to hide the ripples and make the implants look more natural.  When I heard the words.suck the fat from somewhere else, I was in.  

The Dr said there was one other situation that needed to be fixed.  He was worried that the implants were sitting way to low.