I Decided (Post 33)

I have been without my ovaries for nearly 3 weeks.  I have zero menopause symptoms.  In this time I have been researching surgical menopause.

The topic is fascinating because their is an immediate drop in Estrogen.  Surgical menopause is most often done on younger women.  Women with BRCA1/2.  Women who make this decision to stop the threat of cancer.  Stopping cancer creates problems with bone density and heart health.  Estrogen loss can cause hot flashes and estrogen can stop those hot flashes so many women after surgical menopause gladly take the estrogen. 

Without symptoms my decision was harder.  Is estrogen bad?  There are a ton of things out there that say it is.  Do I want to knowingly take something that has such a bad reputation?  My oncologist prescribed me a patch a week ago.  It has been sitting on my counter since then.  I just was so unclear about what to do.  I felt lost.

I found a website called FORCE which stands for Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered.  This is a group of women just like me. This site had some helpful information but I still didn’t know what to do.  I was worried about things that aren’t in articles.  I have a heart condition will estrogen hurt or help that.  I am active, I try to eat well but I read that surgical menopause can cause 20% bone loss in the first 18 months after surgery.  20%, that is a massive amount of loss.  Will my healthy lifestyle counteract that.  Once you loose it you can’t get it back.  So I took drastic measures to prevent cancer from killing me by removing ALL of my lady parts.  Now am I at risk from breaking my hip in 10 years and dying from that?

If I am being honest I was also extremely worried about gaining weight.  I am an active person with two very active boys.  I did all this surgery so I could be a part of that. I do not want to loose energy, get depressed, and get fat.  I found no research about that.  I was so lost.  

My sister has a friend who is an OB oncologist but not my OB oncologist.  She reached out to me through my sister.  I told her all of my fears and worries.  She listened and gave me unbiased feedback about my concerns.  She told me the same things my oncologist told me but she listened to my concerns from a female perspective.  She doesn’t know this but she helped me decide. 

This morning I put on the patch I had on the counter for a week.  My plan is to keep a close eye on my side effects and get a bone density scan.  My worries about my bone loss ultimately pushed me to put on the patch.  I am increasing my calcium intake doing 30 minutes of weight bearing exercise per day and spending 15 minutes outside per day.  My final thought is this.  Why don’t women have clearer answers on what to do after surgical menopause?  Why aren’t there more studies?  Why are we still in the dark.  After all the surgery is done why is the plan not defined.  When you leave your lady parts at the hospital and you go home to heal, why don’t you have a clearly defined next step. 

For now I have to wait and see. I am going back to life and putting the healing behind.  I am hopeful for what the future will bring.  I am no longer defined by cancer.