I Think Your Body Was Growing Around That Drain! (post 22)

I could not have waited any longer for today.  I was up early, using the removable shower head to bathe.  Standing there with my head bent over, my devoted husband kept me warm and my drains dry so I could wash my hair for the second  time since my surgery. It was an ordeal I believe some people would have just skipped.

I got dressed and found another shirt to conceal my hideous drains (thank you to my Lularoe dealer), and we were off.  As I have mentioned it is a a long, bumpy ride to the hospital.  I felt every bump in the road as I tried to balance myself against the seat while holding my hand over one of the drains so it wouldn't rub.  Have I told you I hate the drains.

"You didn't listen to me!" 

This is how the NP came into the room.  She told us that she said less then 30ml in each drain 2 days in a row.  Now let's just back up a minute.  I didn't care for this lady since the first moment I met her.  In pre-op we asked a question and she said, "This is why I have a class about this, some people just don't come".  She said it as if I wasn't a person with a career, family, and obligations whom lives over 60 miles away.   My first impression of her was, "Meh", as my preteen would put it.  There I was on the precipice of having my tits cut off and this chick is lecturing me about how I missed her class.  It is almost 2018, doesn't she know people just google that shit!.  Instead of disrespecting her, I tried to explain why I didn't go. 

The next time I saw this lady was post-op when I asked why I couldn't have my heart meds. Again in front of a bunch of students she lectured me.  So here today on drain day when she started with I didn't listen to her, I talked myself out of drop kicking her, as my arms had no strength.  She began a very long exam to determine if I was ready to have my drains removed.  

She went to the bucket of supplies and began gathering materials to remove the drains. Perhaps she could read my thoughts or possibly it was all over my face.  This process, called drain removal,  can only truly be understood through experiening it.  She removed the bandages then the suture then counted off from  3 and began pulling the drain out, one side at a time.  She prepped me by telling me it doesn't hurt, only after I inquired.  She pulled and pulled and pulled and finally the drain let go.  I gotta tell you, it wasn't the biopsy pain but wow!!!! My husband of course grabbed my hand to offer comfort.  She put a bandage on that side and moved to the other, as I still had another drain. Same process on the that side except a fraction of the pain.  When I asked her why the other side hurt, she said she thought my body had grown around the drain. "Tell me why you thought you needed to leave them in longer?", I refrained from asking. 

Wow lady, did you go over the your body growing around the drain causing intense pain upon excision in your class?????