Removing the Lump (post 7)

I reported super early for the surgery because the Dr. arranged for me to have an ultra sound before surgery. He said that he wanted them to put a marker in the lump so he could find it during the surgery.

I checked into ultra sound. The tech took me into the room after I cheanged and asked me to lay back.. She tried to find the lump but could not. She asked me to show her where it was. I went through the story yet again and asked her if I could sit up. I showed her where it was. She felt it with her hand. Then she tried to see it in the wand and could not. She went to get the radiologist who came in and asked her where the lump was. The tech said she can only feel it when she is sitting up. Then he asked me to find it and I could not. Now I had been obsessing about this lump since the day I found it. I felt it over a hundred times. I knew it was there, I could not find it for him. I tried but I couldn't. He used the wand but couldn't see it.

He told me to go ahead over to surgery. He said he couldn't put a marker in it because he couldn't see it. I knew it was there, but now I did not know what to do. Did I imagine this? I was confused because I didn't know if I should just go home. My husband told me to check in. I went to the hospital. The staff there was amazing. They got me ready and asked me questions before surgery. They were about to do the IV and I told them that the Radiologist couldn't find the lump. I asked the nurse if she could check with the Dr. before putting in my IV because maybe he didn't want to do the surgery. She said she would and walked away. When she came back the Breast Guy was with her.

He said he wasn't to concerned about the marker. He said, "You felt the lump right?" Then he said, "I felt the lump, it is coming out and it's happening today" Shortly after that I was hooked up, meeting the Anesthesiologist and off to sleep. When I woke up I was in the recovery and I heard the Dr. say I got it. I felt a sense of relief so big that I put my head back on the pillow. I don't know if it was the anesthesia or the fact that for the first time in many days I felt I could sleep.