The Lump (post 1)

I can't remember today where I was or how I found it but I remember distinctly what it felt like. I remember it felt like a hard object just sitting in my boob. I remember I could move it and sometimes I couldn't find it. It was a few days I was trying to rationalize this lump in my head. I felt like I was imagining it and for several days I would try to find it again hoping each time it wasn't there and each time finding it.

I was always more diligent about checking for lumps because the last ten years has diagnosed three of my immediate family members with breast cancer. My sister was first when she was 33 and pregnant. My mother was 69 when she found out. She was routine about her mammograms and never missed an appointment, Last was my sister at the age of 48. She is still struggling with her battle and is in the middle of treatment.

I was telling my self that even though I could feel this lump, it wasn't really there. I asked my husband if he could see if he felt it. He was eager to support my investigation as it was the middle of the day and it wasn't even his birthday. He approached the task like a giddy school boy but, it wasn't long before his childish grin disappeared. The look on his face confirmed that he felt something. The lump was top of my left breast toward my sternum. It was top of the second rib down from my collar bone on the left side. It was an odd little lump that wasn't exactly in my breast and it moved. I am not an intensely private person, especially after a glass or two of wine, but I am also not a person who walks around asking others to feel my tits. The lump I thought isn't really on my boob so lets see if my friend thinks it is odd. Well she did.

What to do now I thought. My younger sister had a lump like that once that she let grow for years. You could see it in pictures. Her lump was not breast cancer, she had that confirmed. I thought maybe my lump is the same thing. In the back of my mind I kept reminding myself of all the family members that had breast cancer. My rationalization went on and on and then I remembered my 2 female cousins that also had breast cancer. I talked myself into checking it out and text my friend, my doctor. She asked me to come in.