Getting the Mammogram (post 3)

Ok let's just for a moment talk about this machine. Who in the heck invented this? This machine is ridiculous. If you haven't had a mammogram, I want to be honest about this machine. It's entire purpose is to see your breast tissue which means that in order to see the tissue they need to squeeze your lady parts so hard that it feels like they could literally split open.

Like I said I routinely had these tests done every year for many years. Since I am 42 I am into double digits on these exams. No one likes these, I mean look at this picture. The first time I had a mammogram done, I myself was pregnant. My sister had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, while she too was pregnant. My doctor ordered this test for me to make sure there was nothing growing in my body other than my infant son.

Today I was there because of the lump. The technician asked my to show her where the lump was. I did my best to show her but remember I said the lump moved. She had to try to get a picture of the lump which felt very close to the bone. This means she needed to shove my ,after nursing 2 kids boobs, into the machine even farther than the average exam. The test itself isn't so bad, although different women have different opinions about that. My issue with the mammogram is the awkward moments where the technician is trying to get the boob into the machine, the image taking process, and the long span of time where no one says anything. I am sure behind the wall, the tech is looking to make sure the image is good, but it's the long moment where you are just sitting there with your boob out and there is no one saying anything. I just sit there wondering, like the teacher in Ferris Bueller that says "Anyone, "anyone, anyone", if I can take my boob out, if I can put my arm down, or if I can put the sleeve back on. I just stand there topless in silence.

On this day I left there feeling like I was crazy because it was clear to me that the tech wasn't seeing anything on the image because she took way move images then I had ever had taken before. She kept re-positioning my flabby little boobies that once fed two children further, closer, and tighter. I felt like the lady couldn't see anything and perhaps thought I was making the whole thing up. But let me tell you that while I was there perhaps being judged by that tech that was smashing my boobs like a pimple on prom night, I knew I felt the lump. I knew it was there.